Posted May 18, 2018 06:07:10 There’s an important lesson for everyone, from the first time someone calls to tell you they don’t want to be part of your team to the moment you start getting called into your office to ask what’s going on.
These days, if you’re a developer and you’ve never met someone from the company you work for, you might want to think twice about hanging out with them.
If you’re already close to a senior person or have had the chance to hang out with their co-workers, you’re at a much higher risk of getting a rude or aggressive response.
Here are a few ways to manage a conversation that starts out friendly, but quickly turns into a shouting match.
Letting people know how you feel in the first place The first thing you need to do is let people know you feel uncomfortable.
If it’s a direct question or you’ve already been asking for the whole chat, this is the time to say something.
This isn’t to say you should avoid going into detail, but instead be as direct as you can be without sounding like a jerk.
“I’d like to say I have some good news for you,” you can say, “but I don’t know how to respond to that.”
It’s good to acknowledge that there’s a chance you may be having a difficult time getting through to someone who’s not your immediate family.
This will give them a chance to explain why it’s important to you, but also give you an opportunity to let them know that you’re not sure.
If they don, you can either tell them that you are, or that you won’t be doing that, but that you will talk to them in a few weeks about it.
If this doesn’t work, you could ask them if they’re okay and if they’ve ever talked to someone like that before.
“Hey, I’d like you to know that this isn’t the first or the last time I’ve had to deal in this way.”
You’re probably familiar with the concept of “getting the word out” when it comes to socializing.
As a developer, this will come up a lot.
The next time you meet someone new, try to give them an idea of what to expect and what to say back.
It may take a few minutes, but this can make the meeting much more pleasant.
If things aren’t going well, it’s usually a good idea to let the person know so they know you’re aware of their situation.
When you feel like you’re getting a bit lost or confused, you may want to try asking a few more questions and getting them to get a bit more comfortable with the process.
Be open to the fact that it’s not their fault You’ll probably be hearing a lot of things from your peers about how they’re doing on the job, how they feel about being there, or how they want to improve their work environment.
If your coworker has never been on your team before, this might be a great opportunity to talk about that and offer suggestions on how to improve things.
Sometimes it can be hard to hear yourself when someone says that they are so busy that they don (or can’t) get to spend time with family.
It can be especially hard when it’s something as mundane as your coworkers birthday.
When your coworking partners birthday is around the corner, they might be the one to start asking for a “big birthday” gift.
If that’s the case, it might be best to talk to someone on the team and make a few requests.
Ask for a more in-depth explanation.
Ask to go over their expectations and concerns, and if possible, let them make an offer on what they’d like their team to do to be more successful.
If the team doesn’t want the extra time, make a list of things you’d like them to try, and make sure they have the resources to do them.
Give them a heads up so they can know they’re not alone.
If nothing works, let the people on your other team know that they’re welcome to share their concerns and ask for help if they need it.
It’s important that you don’t put them on the spot or feel obligated to get them to share a specific plan.
If anything, you want them to feel comfortable talking to you.
It could also be helpful for your colleagues to get an idea if they have other colleagues who are more comfortable discussing their concerns.
It might be helpful to start by asking a friend or family member to talk with someone on your own team about the issue.
That way, you don.t have to get everyone on the same page.
This might seem obvious, but sometimes the best way to talk directly to a person on your colleagues team is to call them out on it.
Don’t expect them to immediately jump on board with your ideas or offer to help out.
Rather, you should try to let this person know that it might help